Guide to Sexual Identities

So one of the first things that you become aware of as an erotic writer is that there are a variety of different sexual identities. As someone who has been in the BDSM and fetish scene for a few years I knew a number of them, but I’ll admit to falling short on my knowledge of all identities. This post is to help clarify some of the sexual identities that I’m aware of and that you, as a reader, may encounter within my stories.

Something to bear in mind is that not everyone will identify as a particular sexuality. There are also some people who identify as a flexible form of sexuality, where they are a primarily on form but in certain situations can flex to another, such as heteroflexible people. It is up to each person to decide if they want to be identified and how they wish to be identified.

Heterosexual: This is the most well-known identity, it is the sexual attraction between people of opposite genders. Typically this is between a male and female, however there are some debates that include transgenders, such as a male-to-female transgender who now is female and attracted to men.

Homosexual: This is the second of the three most well-known sexual identities. It is the sexual attraction between two people of the same gender.

Bisexual: This is the third of the most well-known sexuality identities, it is also known as ambisexual. Simply put this is being attracted to both men and women. There are many varying degrees of bisexual people, some who are attracted for relationship purposes, some only for sexual purposes, and some for specific sexual purposes. They are not, however, necessarily attracted to all genders.

Asexual: Simply put, this is someone who experiences no sexual attraction. This means they are not sexually attracted to any gender or any person. It does not mean that they are celibate, as they may choose to have sex for reproduction, emotional intimacy, or pleasing a partner just to name a few. They are also not adverse to romantic relationships and may form a deep bond with a partner just without the desire to express that bond sexually.

Gray-asexual: This is someone who does not normally experience sexual attraction to others but may, on occasion, experience it. They may experience some sexual attraction to others but have a low sex drive and desire to act upon the attraction. They could also be someone who does enjoy sex, but only enjoys the sex under certain conditions.

Pansexual: Some also prefer the term omnisexual though pansexual is the more common of the two. Someone who identifies as pansexual generally does not place limitations upon the gender, biological sex, or gender identity of potential partners. Essentially they are attracted to all people no matter how they identify.

Demisexual: Someone who identifies as demisexual is someone who needs to form a deep emotional bond with a partner before becoming sexually attracted to them. The level of the bond depends upon the person, some may become attracted to close friends and some may need emotional intimacy. The creation of a bond does not guarantee sexual attraction, it is just a precursor to the attraction.

Polysexual: Someone who is polysexual is a person who is attracted to multiple genders but not necessarily attracted to all genders.

Images: Each group has their own flags and many have specific images or symbols used to identify themselves. The above flag is a symbol for heterosexuals who understand and support the rights of all groups of sexual identity and are against the various phobias that are faced by those who are considered outside the normal.

Comments: Feel free to comment below if you have further information about specific groups or any other groups that I may not have been aware of. All helpful comments are welcome.

Helpful Links:

Straight Ally image used with Common Core permissions: By SVG file authored by User:AnonMoos, abstract flag design by [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons